reasons why I'm over him

i love him

him again

Hear me out,
I know I shouldn't. I know It's dumb, but I dreamt of him again. He was there. And I'm sick of feeling this way. I'm sick of falling in love with a guy who can and maybe never will love me fully.
I know he's liked me. I know he's had his moment, but he's still with her. They're 'serious'.
Oh but that's when it gets worse. He has a girlfriend. I know I shouldn't like him even now. It's-It's knot right. But I do. And I can't help it.
I love him.
I haven't seen him in months, parents helped with that, but it's not working the way it should, the way it sometimes does because I still like him.
I just wanna see him again. To see that maybe he wasn't worth liking after all.
He doesn't like her! I know he doesn't! He only goes out with her because of his friends, or maybe he does like her. I dunno.
Maybe I should just wait. Maybe I should just let him go.
But I can't.

What I want

I suppose we can not always get what we want. And I know I want what I cannot have.
I live in a dream; I write, I sleep.
I want to be happy again. Fully and completely happy.
I want a fresh new start.
I want a guy to love me. Not that Jesus doesn't count, but I'm guessing I can't like God that way, ever.
I want him to like me. I've tried so hard to forget him. I know it's dumb, but I can't forget him. I'm "hopelessly devoted to you".
UGH
I want people to appreciate me, but
I wish I didn't care.
Sometimes I want to escape. I do escape, I write, I sing, I dance, I act. But sometimes I can't. Sometimes it won't let me. I am left to wither in my own misery and wait for a creative burst to overwhelm me once more. But sometimes it doesn't come for day and days I wait.
What I want.

Me?

Haha, well I haven't actually writen a blog before so this is kinda, well, strange but I thought I'd may as well make one.
You can call me Dawn. I like that name-Dawn.
I suppose it does sound rather weird but if you think about it it's like light. It's hope. It's Dawn. The coming of light.