What I want

I suppose we can not always get what we want. And I know I want what I cannot have.
I live in a dream; I write, I sleep.
I want to be happy again. Fully and completely happy.
I want a fresh new start.
I want a guy to love me. Not that Jesus doesn't count, but I'm guessing I can't like God that way, ever.
I want him to like me. I've tried so hard to forget him. I know it's dumb, but I can't forget him. I'm "hopelessly devoted to you".
UGH
I want people to appreciate me, but
I wish I didn't care.
Sometimes I want to escape. I do escape, I write, I sing, I dance, I act. But sometimes I can't. Sometimes it won't let me. I am left to wither in my own misery and wait for a creative burst to overwhelm me once more. But sometimes it doesn't come for day and days I wait.
What I want.